Molli Moments

I'm having a moment!

A few years ago, while I was still teaching, I was talking to my mom on the phone at the end of the day. I was wrapping things up and getting ready to head home. As we were talking, I started to gather my coat, purse and bag. Then, I started looking around. I looked on my desk, back counter, closet, my students’ desks, my back table where I worked in small groups. I could not find my phone!! I am now in a half panic. Mid-conversation with my mom and I burst out laughing! My phone is in my hand talking to my mother! Yep. True story. 

I’ve lost count how many times I’ve searched far and wide for something and it was right in front of me or someplace very obvious. It wasn’t hiding from me at all. It was shouting, “Hello. I’m right here!”

Decisions and choices, great or small, can cause us to go round and around when the answer is right in front of us. Sometimes the way a conversation can go around and around in my head wears me out before I ever get started! I’m exhausted by the time a decision has been made. Then, I get frustrated with myself for taking the long way around when the answer was right in front of me. 

You add negative feelings and emotions into the mix and all bets are off. The frustration and hurt you are feeling overpowers God’s still small voice, His gentle hand and His unfailing faithfulness.

I was contemplating some “adult” decisions that needed to be made that would affect not only me, but my family. Being the sole “adult” in our family of 4, it was up to me to make the best choice for all involved. So began the ‘round and around conversation with myself in my head. I was getting dizzy! When I finally stopped, was still and waited, the still small voice echoed through. The answer was right in front of me. I was walking all around it. It tripped me up so I could stop and see it staring at me in the face. “Well, that was obvious. Why didn’t I see that before?” I was too far in my own head; too many distractions, obstacles, walls I kept running into. Finally, after stopping, being still and listening did God’s wisdom and guidance shine through. 

The same is true when dealing with hurt feelings you have towards someone. Jesus’ example on how to love one another is mind boggling. The faith He has in each of us to continue to follow HIs example paired with His faithfulness to never give up and never leave us is humbling and incomprehensible. It blows me away. 

I don’t know about you, but when a person is consistent in their negative, argumentative and attacking approach in most situations, my defense mechanism kicks in and I distance myself. My feelings are hurt by what they said, how they said it or why they said it. What if, what if, you can’t get away? What if that person/s are in your life on a regular basis. There is no escaping or avoiding. What happens then? Does animosity and bitterness take root? Does the wound fester and become infected?

Most likely, the person/s that has hurt you, don’t even realize the depth of hurt that was caused. And now my anger and bitterness is eating me up on the inside. I’m spinning in my head, getting dizzy and about to hurl because I’ve veered away from my faithfulness in the person/s. 

This is hard to grasp. If I can get myself to stop the merry-go-around in my head, I might be able to let go of the anger and bitterness. But, how? Forgiveness. That’s a big one. Forgiveness turns us back to our faith in the One who holds it all. It turns us back to the faithfulness He has in us that ignites our faithfulness in others. When you’ve been hurt time and again, this is big and hard. This is not easy. My human self can not do this alone. He hasn’t given up on me. I need to follow His example. 

Whether it’s up close and personal or from a distance, forgive and let go of the anger and bitterness. Stop the crazy cycle within you. Your answer is right in front of you. He’s saying, “Hello, I’m right here!” His faith in you and His faithfulness to always be right where we need Him is a promise you can hold on to, that is everlasting. No matter how hard we tug and pull away, He is holding on, He won’t let go. He’s not hiding. He’s saying “I’m right here,” with arms open wide ready to carry us through.

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