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Have you worked on a project lately that has taken a lot of time, effort, blood, sweat and tears? You think you finally have it ready to present or start the event and you start to second guess yourself? What about the increased heart rate, the nervous jitters, or the thought of, what have I gotten myself into? Then, there is the mind wondering if the event or presentation will play out as planned, will the people like what they hear and see, will it be successful? The merry-go-round of second guessing begins!
My side gig these days includes bookkeeping for 3 small businesses. One of the businesses is a farm market outside of town. The farm market is getting ready to be up and rolling for the season full time.
In trying to help get things ready, I volunteered to be a gopher and go pick up an order of spices we are selling at the market. Once delivered to the market I unpacked, priced the items and set them out on display. Counting and pricing, I can do.. Setting up the display so it’s eye appealing and brings customers in….not my strength. My boss was in and out a couple of times and each he’d say it looked good. I had my doubts. Once I finished and gave it a last once over, I thought, “Well, this is as good as it’s going to get!” And you know what, it was just fine and several items were sold! The raised heart rate and second guessing was unnecessary.
Here’s a fun fact for you…..I’ve been writing a book. It’s crazy to have over the moon excitement and paralyzing terror at the same time! Once the body of the book was finished, I decided to print it off and read through it. As it was printing, I looked at it like it was poisonous. I didn’t want to touch it or read it. So weird. I completed something that I didn’t believe enough in myself to accomplish and now the first draft is complete! It was mind numbing. I sat and stared at it then walked away from it. Haha. Such a strange emotion.
After I read through it for the first time, I decided to have a trusted friend read it. My heart rate immediately increased and had a case of the cold sweats! Haha. Have you ever handed over your crying baby to a nursery worker, said good luck, and as you walked away you were thinking I’ve scarred my child for life?? Yeah, handing over my book was like handing over my baby. I needed to pass it off and go before I changed my mind! As I walked away, I said, out loud, “Holy Toledo, Batman!” That was a crazy, scary, what in the world did I just do, kind of moment. Plus, I thought, “I did it. I really did it!” I shocked myself. I completed something I didn’t know I had in me! Jesus was my “Batman” and came in to save the day. Instead of holding on to it or saying “Just kidding, never mind!” He gave me the strength, moral support and emotional support to pass it off into someone else’s hands and let it go! “Holy Toledo, Batman!”
Once I passed the book off, I had a hard time calming the nerves. A song kept rolling through my mind. It was one of those times that you can’t get it out of your head no matter how hard you try! Thankfully it was a song I liked. I also paused long enough to wonder if God placed this song in my head, what does He want me to hear? I won’t sing it for you, but here are a few lines from the song.
“In my Father’s house, there is a place for me.” – No matter the outcome, no matter the quantity of books sold, no matter the opinions that will float around out there, my place is with Him. His house is my home. I am with Him now and for always. He is with me now and for always.
“I’m a child of God, yes I am.” – I am His daughter; beloved, cherished and His. No matter who likes it or doesn’t like it, He does and His opinion is the most important.
“I am chosen, not forsaken.” – When I finally decided to do what God was calling me to do, I started to write down my ideas and organize my thoughts. I could feel an unexplainable presence in the room. I knew it was the Holy Spirit giving divine insight on what He was calling me to do. He chose me for a time such as this. Humbling, to say the least.
“He is for me, not against me.” – God does not place a desire upon our hearts only to turn against us as we follow through. That is the opposite of His love. He is my biggest fan, loudest cheerleader, best coach and closest confidant in all I do. The love of God can not be love and be in disgust at the same time or disgusted at all!! Only Love.
As I’m still feeling the effects of my “Holy Toledo, Batman” moment, the lines to this song keep rolling through my head. Pure ecstatic and peace. I am confident in what He is calling me to do. I’m ecstatic about the possibilities yet to come. I will rely on His confidence in me and anticipate what is yet to come.
When was the last time you had a “Holy Toledo, Batman” moment? How did it change you? Are you looking forward to the next one?
Thanks for sharing a moment with me. We are in this together, ecstatically anticipating, in Him.