Select Page

To listen to the podcast, click here.

A couple of years ago, I had gotten to the place where I was open to starting a relationship with someone to share my life with. I was not ready for the dating world, but ready to consider a new relationship.  I was a hot mess and was pretty confident few and far between would be interested. 

This past June, towards the end of the month, someone asked me if I’d be interested in getting to know him better and maybe even date. I knew this man and he already had three strikes against him. He was older, a pastor and had a pacemaker. My first husband was older, a pastor and died of a sudden heart attack. Jesus and I had a few heart to heart conversations before I agreed to get to know this man better to determine if dating was the next step or not. Over the next two months we talked and texted often. We had some candid, open, honest conversations about each other as individuals, who we are in Christ and the hot mess we were both bringing to the relationship. 

I had only dated and been with one man, my late husband. I was not looking forward to the dating world. I’m not one to date for fun just to have someone to hang out with. To me, that was a waste of emotional energy that I did not have a surplus of. By mid-September I took a leap of faith and we went on our first date. We both agreed that dating was a huge step and knew it had potential to lead to a long term commitment. 

Spoiler alert! Dating worked and we were married  January 1st! Once we both realized that we were going to make this a life long commitment and get married, some tension released as other tension intensified. 

Today’s society has relationships backwards. Too many couples are living and being together intimately before marriage. They are planning, looking forward to and can’t wait to be married and share a life together. They rationalize that since they are going to live together, why not be with one another now? 

Because of my integrity, values and belief in Christ, that was not an option. During one of our candid conversations we discussed, agreed and felt strongly to hold onto our integrity and trust in Christ.

C.S. Lewis said it well. “Integrity is doing the right thing when no one is watching.” We could have done what we wanted when no one was watching. No one else would know. We chose Christ and to do what was right even when no one was watching.

The struggle is real. You can decide to not do what’s right when no one is looking. In return, you lose value in yourself. Maybe you chose to do something wrong because no one is looking. No one will know. No one will care. 

Integrity comes from within. It’s knowing the difference between right and wrong and choosing to do what is right. 

The real power is doing good when no one is looking. The real power is being the anonymous blesser in someone’s life. The real power is choosing Christ above all else. 

Jesus captured the true essence of character, when He said be a secret blesser. Identity in Christ is not about what we don’t do, it’s what we do. One of my greatest joys is blessing people in such a way they don’t know where it came from, and must give God the credit. It’s a true delight to be the surprising encouragement in a world of discouragement, when no one is looking. 

Thanks for sharing a moment with me. We are in this together, living out His integrity, in Him. 

Share this moment we’ve shared with someone else. You can find more blogs and podcasts at my website: to share with others. Be blessed and see you next time.

%d bloggers like this: