My awkward reality began in the wee hours of October 16th, 2017. Now, five years later, it’s still awkward. Much has happened and I’ve grown in ways I didn’t think were possible.
My husband of twenty years suddenly breathed his last breath and entered his eternal home. Life as I knew it was changed forever.
The first year and a half after he passed was a fog of going through the motions. At times I didn’t know what day it was. I couldn’t think straight to make decisions or answer questions. My heart had been torn out of my chest. I have never felt such pain. I have never felt such emptiness.
My thoughts were going in a million directions; it was difficult to make sense of it all. Out of desperation for relief from the pain, I started journaling my deep emotions of going through difficult days. The tears flowed as I poured my heart out. Healing began as each page was written.
In the midst of my journaling, I was given the idea to write about the worst ten days of grief. My initial response was, “Um, NO! I don’t think so. I’ve lived through it once. I’d rather not live through it again!” Weeks passed by and the idea settled into my heart and mind. After many conversations with Jesus, I agreed to give it a try.
Once again, tears flowed as I put words to my hardest days of living with a great loss.
Deciding to publish raw emotions and deep hurt was not an easy decision. I was letting anyone who took the time to read into my private world. A world very few people knew about.
God’s encouragement kept me focused on completing what He started. If you have experienced any type of loss, I encourage you to consider reading “Awkward Reality.” Walking through grief looks different for each person. May you see Jesus in my journey through healing. May you see Jesus’s hope. May you be comforted by His presence.
In the midst of my inaugural writing, may Jesus shine brighter as you read my story. May your heart and mind be open to His message for you.
Be encouraged my friend. There is a Light at the end of the tunnel. This is only a short time of hurt and pain. Healing brings peace and strength to take the next step.
Jesus will lead you through your awkward reality and you will come out on the other side with a better understanding of who He is within you.
The button below is a link to “Awkward Realty.”
Thanks for sharing a moment with me. We are in this together, one moment at a time, in Him.